I worry a lot
Dear Counselling,
I feel like I worry too much, even over the most trivial things. Some of the things I worry about are:
- my appearance or being judged
- that people don't like me
- that I won't get into honours
- that I am a failure
- that I cannot trust people
- about moving out and its implications
These things don't bother me all the time, most of the day I can be productive. But when I'm worrying a lot, I just think too much and it gets me down because I hate the uncertainty. I can also be pretty irritable when I worry. What should I do? - Anonymous
Worrying is normal and it’s great that you understand that worrying doesn’t make you more productive. It actually brings you down because of the uncertainty and then you become more irritable. This can become a vicious cycle - when you feel down you worry even more. It can also lower your motivation for study. But it’s a good sign that these worries don’t get to you all the time.
There are some very useful strategies to manage worry. When the worries are getting too much you might like to try one of these strategies:
- Label worry as ‘just worrying’ and then change the subject in your mind. So, every time you catch yourself worrying, you add the label again and change the subject. It doesn’t matter how often this happens. Doing this makes your worries less powerful because you’re accepting that they will continue to pop up every now and then and dealing with them when they happen. This technique involves no self-criticism, just simple non judgemental labelling
- 15 minute ‘worry time’ every day. All you do is set aside 15 minutes and allow yourself to worry for the whole time. You finish worrying in exactly 15 minutes. You already have a list of the things that you are most worried about to go from. This is a ‘taking control of worry’ technique aimed at taking control of how much and for how long you worry and it has worked for a lot of the students we see in counselling. Worries often take over at inconvenient times of the day and night, like when you are trying to sleep. When worries happen outside of your 15 minute ‘worry time’, imagine a big ‘STOP’ sign in your mind and tell yourself you will think about this worry at your next ‘worry time’
Clients tell us that both of these strategies have been helpful for them and I hope it works for you too. If you would like to talk more specifically about any of your worries or would like more help with the strategies please feel free to make an appointment.
(This question and answer is a part of eCounselling. If you have a question please submit it online. Please note this is not a good way to deal with crisis situations. If we are concerned about your safety we may call you to check on your welfare. If you need to make an appointment, please call (02) 9852 5199 or visit the Counselling Service on your campus. Lifeline is also available 24 hours a day on 13 11 14)
