Counselling Myths, FAQs, Online Advice and Useful Links

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Counselling Myths

Sometimes people have misconceptions about what Counsellors can and can't do for them. Below are some common myths about counselling.

Counselling is only for people who are 'insane' or 'crazy': False
In most cases, you cannot tell if a person is seeing a counsellor because they are usually ordinary people with ordinary problems who are simply seeking help for themselves. People who see a counsellor on their own accord are generally healthy and responsible.

The counsellor provides you with all the answers: False
The counsellor’s role is to help you to develop the skills to help yourself so that in the future, you have the ability to deal with personal issues without needing professional help.

All you do is lie down on a couch and tell the counsellor your problems: False
While some counsellors will have a couch in their office, you will not be lying down on it like you see in movies. Counselling is about identifying the issue, connecting you with resources and brainstorming and working through strategies.

People who see counsellors are weak: False
Asking for help is often one of the most difficult things to do. Seeing a counsellor is about recognising that you have a problem and taking responsibility for your personal welfare, it is not about dumping your problems on somebody else.

Counselling is only for 'girls': False
Many people hold this view. In general, females visit the counsellors more often than males. This is unfortunate because counselling is just as beneficial to males and they should therefore seek help when needed. It is not an indication of weakness and by seeing a counsellor you are not compromising your masculinity.

You will have all the answers you need after your first session: False
While most people feel much better after their first session, they do not walk away with all the answers. The first session is usually designed for you to become familiar with your counsellor and for the counsellor to get to know you. It is important to remember that, depending on the seriousness of the problem, it may take some time and effort to resolve it.

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FAQs

What is Counselling? If you talk to different people about what counselling is, it is quite possible that each person will have a different understanding of it. However, in general, Counselling aims to help you cope with personal problems. Usually a counsellor will do this by asking questions, listening to you, reflecting on what you have said and exploring the range of options that may be available to you. Please note that counselling is not about giving you the answer or taking the problem away. It is best to view counselling as a way of putting things into perspective and opening you up to options and resources that you may not have previously considered.

The counsellors at UWS understand that it can be difficult for many students to seek professional help.
This may be due to:

fear of being judged
fear that family and friends will find out about the problem
expectations that some things should never be discussed
embarrassment about the problem
concern that seeing a counsellor will draw unwanted attention to the problem or make it worse
feeling inferior or that they are a failure because they cannot handle the situation themself
fear of being punished because they spoke out about the problem
expectations that they should accept what is happening (or has happened) and just get on with life
lack of understanding about the role of counsellors and what counselling can do for them.

It is not uncommon for students to approach us with these fears and concerns. Unfortunately for many students, this can be enough to prevent them from seeking help. The counsellors at UWS have a sensitive and caring approach to different issues and understand that your ability to talk to a counsellor may be hindered by:

the nature of your situation or problem
your personal expectations of counselling
language and Cultural barriers
a disability that prevents you from physically accessing a counsellor or communicating to others
bad experiences of counselling in the past
other hindrances such as family commitments and geograhical locations.

In special circumstances, counsellors are willing to consult with you over the phone.

Is counselling confidential?
UWS counsellors are bound by the ethical codes of The Psychological Society and the Australian Association of Social Workers, as well as the Privacy Act. This means that counsellors have no right to disclose any information about you to academics, family members, friends or the general public.
However, before you see a counsellor, it is important to consider the following circumstances when a counsellor is exempt from confidentiality, these include:

where there is a clear risk to your safety or that of others
where there is a legal issue and a court acting within its powers, requires a counsellor to provide it with a counselling file and/or attend court as a witness
when laws such as those concerning child abuse require madatory disclosure of information.

It is a good idea to talk with your counsellor about privacy and confidentiality issues at the beginning of your first session. You may like to read the Counselling Privacy and Confidentiality Statement.

Do I have to pay a fee?
No. UWS provides a free counselling service to all UWS students.

If I am based at a particular campus, can I see a counsellor at another campus?
Yes. You can see a counsellor at any campus if you are enrolled at UWS.

How long does a counselling session go for?
Counselling sessions usually run for 50 minutes however, in some instances, you may only need a 30-minute consultation.

What information will I be asked to disclose?
When you make an appointment to see a counsellor, you will be asked for your name, student identification (to ensure that you are a UWS student) and a contact number. This information is only used for administrative purposes and will not be published or forwarded to other individuals or organisations.
When you see a counsellor for the first time, you may be asked a question such as 'What has brought you here today?' or 'How can I help you today?' It is up to you how you answer the question.

Do I have to tell the counsellor everything?
While there is no law saying that you must disclose everything to the counsellor, remember that counselling is more effective if you are honest and forthcoming with information. Counsellors are not mind readers. The help they give you is based on what you tell them. If you omit important information, particularly about an issue that is affecting you, you may walk away feeling dissatisfied and angry that you wasted your time. So, be as open and as honest with your counsellor as you can. You will not be judged on the basis of your personal problems.

Can I bring a staff member or a friend along to my first interview?
Seeing a counsellor for the first time can be a daunting experience. If you feel more comfortable bringing a friend along or a staff member, you can. However, be sure that you can trust this person with your personal information.

What if my problem isn't serious enough to warrant counselling?
Everybody is different and what some people may find to be distressing, others may not have such a reaction. Throughout your life you may encounter comments such as, 'get over it' or 'that's life'. However, if something is affecting you to the point that it is getting the way of your daily activities and responsibilities, or if you simply have something on your mind that you wish to dispel, then there is no harm in seeing a counsellor, even if it is for one session only. Do not let what others say dictate the decision you make. You do not have to be in a crisis to see a counsellor.

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Online Advice

This online information provides insight about some of the common issues and illnesses that students either present with, or have questions about.

PLEASE NOTE: The information supplied on this website is not a substitute for face-to-face counselling. Do not self-diagnose!

One of the dangers of labelling your problem is that you may create a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, you may find, after reading our online pamphlet, that you have some of the symptoms of depression. While this may be true, this does not necessarily mean that you have the illness (depression) and you may actually become depressed thinking that you have depression! However, if you have doubts, you should make an appointment to see a counsellor.

Uni Work and Assessments
Getting things done on time can be one of the greatest difficulties associated with university study. When you are up all hours of the night trying to complete an assignment, it is easy to believe that you are the only one in the whole world who is staying up late. The worst thing about this is that you are depriving yourself of sleep. This, coupled with knowing that the assignment is due the next day will cause you to become irritated, frustrated, panicky and flustered. While some people may argue that they work better under pressure, most people will not achieve their best marks by working this way. In the long term it can have a detrimental effect on your health, making you more susceptible to common illnesses such as colds and influenza (flu).

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A common question:
Why can't I get all my homework done during the day?

Consider the following:

Do you work (paid/volunteer) more than 10 hours per week?
Do you have other commitments that require you to dedicate more than 10 hours per week in total?
Do you put off starting an assignment until the last few days before it is due?
Do you complete other tasks, such as cleaning your room, organising your notes or calling a friend before you start your homework?
Do you fear failure?
Do you work on more than two assignments at once?
Do you get by without using a daily or weekly planner?
Do you have a disability that affects your ability to work at the same speed as your peers?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these questions you may have an explanation for why you may be struggling to get things done on time.
One of the most common problems among university students is a lack of time management skills. All too often, students tend to overlook the importance of weekly, even daily planning of tasks.

Here are some tips to help you:

At the start of the semester, write down all your assessment tasks and due dates. A yearly or semester planner is the best tool for this as it allows you to foresee what's coming up and you can predict possible stress periods where you may have more than one assignment due within a week
Make a list of all essential tasks that need to be completed before the end of the day and cross them off as you complete them. This will give you a sense of achievement
Do not do excessive research! You'll create an information overload and become overwhelmed. If your lecturer specifies that you only need five references then give them five references. Don't waste time giving them more references than is needed as this usually will not earn you extra marks.
Avoid distractions. This includes personal issues that may interfere with your ability to think clearly. If you are having personal difficulties it may help to designate perhaps one or two hours for focusing solely on your homework and leave the rest of the day for dealing with the issue. This is not an easy thing to do. However, it is a learnt skill that you can develop over time. A counsellor will be able to help you with this.
If you are in paid employment, try to spend the least amount of time possible at work. The best way to succeed at uni is to think of it as a 9 to 5 job, particularly if you are a full-time student. Doing this will allow you to make homework a priority. If you cannot possibly do this and you feel that you are not coping, you may want to consider part-time study.
Do you have a disability? If so, have you seen a disability advisor? For more information, visit the disability service page.

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Depression:
Depression is a common and treatable complaint that can be brought on by stressful and traumatic life events or can be genetically inherited or both.
Feeling down or sad is a normal part of life and everyone will have this experience from time to time. When you are feeling down you may be less motivated to perform tasks such as homework, you may want to be left alone, or you may eat more or less than usual.
Usually this behaviour will subside in a day or two. However, if it persists everyday and is reducing your ability to perform daily tasks, you should consider seeing a counsellor.

Symptoms of depression:

loss of interest in activities that are usually pleasurable, including socialising with friends, hobbies, sex, eating etc.
feeling sad for most of the day
weight loss or weight gain
sharp increase or decrease in appetite
sleep disturbances during the night or during the day
loss of energy
loss of motivation or concentration
periodic crying, for no apparent reason
thoughts of suicide, or preoccupation with death
feelings of guilt or worthlessness.

Anxiety:
Feeling anxious about upcoming events such as exams, job interviews, performances etc. is a normal part of life. However, everyone is different, and what one person feels anxious about, another person may not be affected by. When we are anxious, we usually feel worried and apprehensive. Sometimes, particularly the night before the event, you may not sleep well and may not feel hungry in the morning. This is very common. The question is:
When does anxiety become a problem?
Anxiety usually becomes a problem when it impedes your ability to perform tasks. For example, you may fail an exam, not because you did not know the answers, but because you were anxious to the point where you could not think clearly. If you have had an experience like this, you may want to consider different ways you can manage your anxiety.

Listed below are some simple, common sense approaches to managing anxiety:

Practise makes perfect! If you know your stuff inside and out, you will feel more confident in your ability to perform the task. Preparation is very important. The less prepared you are, the more anxious you will feel, so practise, practise, practise!
Relaxation techniques can be a useful tool for reducing anxiety. Going for slow walks or meditating can help to release tension. Not only does this help to relax your body, but also your mind. You don't have to wait till the last minute to do this. Practising relaxation techniques will also be useful during the weeks leading up to the important event. There are many different types of relaxation techniques, such as listening to music, reading, watching television, taking a nap or even moderate exercise. You should take the time to find out which one works best for you.
It's all mind over matter! Positive thinking is vital for reducing anxiety. If you are well prepared for the event (and you will know within yourself if you are) then you should not feel as anxious. Before the event, remind yourself that you are capable and that, in the scheme of things, it's not a big deal. This is called 'positive self-talk' and you should say to yourself, 'I know I can do this', 'I've done this before, I've done enough preparation', 'Is it really such a big deal if I make a mistake?'
Block negative thoughts. No matter how confident you may be, sometimes those negative thoughts have a way of sneaking in. Such thoughts include, 'Im not good enough', 'I'm dumb' or 'I just know I'll stuff up'. If you allow these thoughts to take over, you may find yourself predicting catastrophies such as, 'I'm gonna fail and I won't graduate', or 'I'm gonna fall over on stage and break my ankle'. One way to prevent these thoughts from taking control is to visualise a 'stop' sign everytime a negative thought enters your mind. You can do this by closing your eyes, taking deep breaths and thinking positive thoughts.

Keep in mind that while you may never completely eliminate your anxiety, you can turn it into a positive force. Nervous energy can be used as a source of motivation. In many cases, people will not perform as well without it.

How do I know if I have a real problem with anxiety?
The best way to understand what you are experiencing is to talk to a professional, such as a counsellor, about the problem. What a counsellor will do is work with you to find out what is happening to you. Managing your anxiety becomes easier once you have a clearer understanding of it. There are many different types of anxiety that people complain about.

A brief list of the types of anxiety people experience are:

Panic attacks
Agoraphobia
Social Phobia Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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Grief Loss and Bereavement:
Grief is associated with many different emotions that you may experience when you lose someone or something that is very special to you.

You may feel a sense of loss when:

A loved one dies or moves away
A relationship breaks down
There is a change in status, e.g losing your job or moving from school to university and/or work
An item such as jewellery, or an important document is thrown away or misplaced
A pet dies or runs away
Being diagnosed with a chronic and/or life threatening illness that will change your quality of life

Some of the emotions you may feel when you are grieving include:

Sadness
Hurt
Anger - when a loved one dies, you may feel angry with them for leaving you
Guilt - you may feel that you could have done something to prevent the loss
Fear - You may be wondering what life will be like for you in the future
Longing - you may want to go back to the way things were before
Denial - especially in the beginning. Denial may prevent you from feeling pain
loneliness

Other effects:

Grief can lead to depression or anxiety
It may also cause you to have difficulties in other relationships, particularly if you are pushing other loved ones away or if you are blaming them for the loss. You may also believe that they are uncaring if they do not appear to be grieving with you

Eating Disorder:
Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa are the most common forms of eating disorders. They occur most often in young women and teenage girls, but can also occur in males.

Some of the symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa are:

Fear of gaining weight
Depression
Denial of food, starvation
Excessive weight loss
Dizzy spells and fainting
Excessive exercising
Distorted view of one's body image
Obsessing about food and weight
Irregular menstrual cycle or absence of periods
Defensive behaviour at meal times or when asked about one's eating habits
Low self-esteem

Symptoms of Bulimia Nervosa:

Eating in secrecy
Hiding food
Obsessing over food and weight gain
Losing control, in particular eating to the point where the person feels physically ill
Always running off to the bathroom immediately after meals
Use of diet pills, laxatives or diuretics
Eating constantly. Eating large amounts of food without gaining weight

A major difference between Bulimia and Anorexia is that people suffering from Anorexia actually feel that they are in control. This is why they are able to stop themselves from eating. People with Bulmia on the other hand, often lose control. This results in binge eating and purging (excessive eating, then vomiting or taking diet pills). Another difference is that people with Anorexia will lose weight and appear to be sick, unlike people with Bulimia who may not appear to lose weight at all. Finally, despite their sickly appearance, people with Anorexia may have more difficulty in recognising that they have a problem. They therefore are less likely to seek help and are more likely to resist assistance from others.

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Substance Abuse:
What is substance abuse?
Substance abuse occurs when a person uses a substance to the point where their ability to function normally becomes impaired.

Symptoms:

Physical - the person may not be able to walk or they may become physically ill
Emotional - they may easily become distressed or aggressive
Mental - the person may not be able to think clearly or concentrate

Substance abuse is a major concern because it can lead to dangerous behaviour. People exhibiting any of the above symptoms may be more willing to take part in risky activities such as driving while drunk, high, or following through on a dare.

Reasons for abuse:

People feel pressured by their peers to drink or take drugs
Some people who have never used drugs may be curious
They believe they can't have fun or feel alive without getting "wasted"
Some people cannot tell when their body has had enough so they keep abusing
To numb emotional pain
To escape their personal problems
Because they are addicted

One of the biggest concerns is that it can be difficult for a young person to recognise that they are abusing their body and are at risk of developing serious, long-term medical and social disorders. If you can relate to any of the above information, please take the time to make an appointment and speak to a counsellor.

Feeling Lonely:
Loneliness is a type of emotion that affects us on two levels. It can make us feel a sense of emptiness; for example, when a person you love dies, or it can make us feel detached from the rest of the world, especially if you live alone and away from family. It is possible to experience both at once.
It is normal for students to feel lonely at university, particularly if they have moved away from family. Sometimes it is difficult for students to believe that one can feel lonely at uni given that there are so many people around. But starting uni is not easy. There are usually many changes to your routine that you may find difficult to become accustomed to.

Some of the factors that may contribute to feeling lonely at university are:

Moving away from family, friends, home town
Spending lots of time studying alone, even on weekends and holidays
Change in relationships, for example, it may not be as easy to make friends at university because, unlike school, students are not confined to one particular area all the time. Your relationship with your school friends may also have changed.

Things you can do to alleviate loneliness:

Try getting to know people in your classes and lectures by initiating conversation. You could start by asking them questions such as: What course they are doing; What other subjects are they taking; What do they think of them; etc.
Instead of studying alone, try forming a small study group by simply asking someone to read over your essay or talking about the course work over lunch
You may wish to become involved in the peer mentoring program, which aims at helping students cope with demands of university life
Get involved in social activities that are offered on campus. There are usually notices all around campus informing you of what's going on, or you can visit the Student Union
Keep in touch with friends, particularly school friends. Given the changes in your life, this may be difficult to do, however, if you keep in touch with old friends, you may find they are going through the same thing you are. Friends can offer you a great deal of support

Remember - you are not alone. Many university students feel lonely. If you are feeling lonely and are not sure what to do about it, please come in and speak to a counsellor.

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Useful Links

General and Mental Health

HECS homepage: http://www.goingtouni.gov.au/
Centrelink homepage: http://www.centrelink.gov.au/
Student Counselling Virtual Pamphlet Collection An excellent site from the University of Chicago's Counselling Service. Pamphlets for viewing on a wide range of topics related to health and well-being. http://counseling.uchicago.edu/vpc/
NSW Health Department
Healthy NSW Community Health A comprehensive site including information on Aboriginal Health, Babies and Children, Disability, Environmental Health, Multicultural Health, Gay and Lesbian Health and Youth Health and much more. http://www.health.nsw.gov.au/
Mental Health Association NSW Inc. http://www.mentalhealth.asn.au/

A national project funded by the Commonwealth Department of Health and Aged Care under the Mental Health Strategy and the National Suicide Prevention Strategy.

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Counselling Myths, FAQs, Online Advice and Useful Links

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Counselling Myths

FAQs

Online Advice

Useful Links